Oh my friend. If you, too, are a bride who has had to postpone, cancel, or adjust her wedding in any way due to the impact of COVID-19, know that I am here with you. I am here in the frustration of having to adjust all your plans. I am here in the heartbreak of losing the day that you’ve been looking forward to for months or even years now. I am here in the hurt of having the push back one of the most special days of your life. I am here.
When we first decided to postpone our wedding, I was met with a lot of tears and heartbreak, no doubt. This is a loss. It is good to grieve. And I know, in the grand scheme of all that is happening in the world right now, it might just seem like a wedding…but it is YOUR wedding. This is part of your suffering. You don’t need to compare it to someone else’s. Feel what you need to feel.
For me, the tears came and the tears went. And they still do reappear in the most random moments. But what I want to share for the rest of this blog is the gift I believe we have all been given in light of our current circumstances.
If you are a bride reading this, you know that the wedding-planning process is nothing if not super stressful. For months I listened to social media’s expectations of what my wedding needed to be like. For months I allowed my people-pleasing tendencies to take over and prevent me from making decisions with ease. For months I stressed over every detail and imagined worst-case scenarios.
Yet now, when a worst-case scenario I never imagined of postponing our wedding due to a global pandemic occurs, I feel like I can breathe. It’s like I had inhaled all this expectation and worry and was clinging to it so tight, but now I can deeply exhale because I have perspective.
What matters in all this is one thing – marrying Michael. How, when, and with who around, has to fade into the background. It will all happen however it is supposed to. And this time has given us the gift of time to love and work through an incredibly challenging season of life together. It’s allowed us as a partnership to work through something very stressful and learn more about one another along the way.
I have perspective now on the fact that I still get to have a wedding at all when so many others do not have that luxury. I have a partner who loves me unconditionally every, single day and cares for me every, single day. Ooh I’m getting teary just writing this down.
I am healthy. I am safe. I have life. I have love.
So to my postponed bride, I’m here with you. I’m here not to rush you through your grief, but to encourage you in saying that perspective comes. And when it does, I think we will have the gift of knowing what’s truly important in our lives as we move forward beyond our wedding days.