Recently I’ve been seen how much my worth is rooted in how busy I am, how helpful I appear to be, and by what I produce. When I am under a sense of pressure and performance and am cranking things out, I thrive. But when days or moments come when I have nothing on my calendar and I actually could just rest and be…I freak out. For real. It’s like I don’t know how to not be productive or not feel the pressure to be so. I constantly feel like I have to be moving and doing, and I believe a lot of that is because I’m letting all these things define me in this season of life.
So this week, I do not want my worth to fluctuate and rely on my external output, busyness, and rush of life, but rather on my internal nature. This week, my worth will not be dependent on:
- My calorie burn
- My grades
- How early I wake up
- My packed schedule
- Getting everything done on MY terms
- Saying all the right things
- How cute I look
- How much I complete on my to-do list
Rather, my worth will be rooted in knowing I am a treasured, child of God, who can show up imperfect and still be enough. My worth will not depend on my productivity. It will be found in showing up with all I have to offer this day, trusting and believing that that is enough.
This week is National Eating Disorders Awareness Week, so emphasizing this idea of worthiness and self-love is extra relevant as we consider the impact eating disorders have on millions of people around the world. The theme this year is Come as You Are: Hindsight is 20/20, which encourages me to remember that where I am at today in my journey is absolutely enough. We are always learning from our past choices and experiences, but our past does not define us. And wherever you are in your journey to wellness today is something to be proud of, no matter where that is. Progress is progress. No shame our guilt attached when we “mess up” or have off days. I believe the only way we move forward and continue on our journeys is by starting from a place of complete self-love and acceptance.
This week is going to be beautiful because I am taking control of the power I have to show myself love, patience, and respect. Some days might feel productive and full and others might feel empty and slow, but I will commit to affirming myself and showing myself grace in each day. God’s love isn’t changing no matter where I’m at or how I feel. Show yourself immense love this week because you are worth it so fully each and every day.
written Sunday, February 23, 2020