I’ve been feeling so weird sharing about how overwhelming + stressful wedding planning has been for me. I think a lot of it comes from social media and the industry that portrays every step of the journey as a pure, shining, joy, when in reality, I just laugh and/or cry at least once a week about the craziness of it all.
I feel like people don’t warn you that wedding planning, especially long-distance, is a full-time job. The balancing act of prioritizing all the things along with wedding planning is a daily challenge. One day it feels like I’ve got it under control and the next I’m drowning. One day I’m confident in my decisions and the next I’m questioning them all. No wonder people make a career out of wedding planning! It is big time stuff.
I struggle with caring too much about what people think of me. I haven’t shared because I’m afraid people will judge me or think I’m being ungrateful for the privilege of getting married and having a wedding in the first place. And I feel this guilt – I know this is such a gift, but it is a LOT to take on and that’s okay to say. I don’t want to feel this way, but I do, and accepting that is the first step.
I guess I just wish I wasn’t so afraid to talk about this stuff, so here I am, opening it up in hopes of connection. I know all the past and current brides out there have felt this in some way or another. I know I’m not alone. But I also know I wish there was more realness out there about it.
So here’s what I know I need to hear as a bride-to-be:
Take a breath. You’re doing the best you can. You’re not expected to know how all these ins and outs work and you can’t predict how all this will go down. You may feel like you are constantly behind, but you’re not. You are right on track with where you’re supposed to be. The things will get done. People will understand. And for real, no one even cares about these details or inconveniences as much as you do.
Your people love you and they will deal. You’re knocking things out one step at a time and that’s all you can take. Put what you can handle on your plate and leave the rest for another day. I know more days than not you feel like you are absolutely drowning in all the things you still need to do and you feel guilty for not getting it all done. You have so many things fighting for your attention, and it’s okay.
You have GOT to show yourself love + kindness. You’ve got to be more gentle. Stop worrying about everyone else’s expectations, let go of the weight of the “should,” and just do your best. All you can do is take it one step at a time.
Set some boundaries. Don’t let the stress rob the joy of this season. And hey, all this stress…it’s temporary. In a few months you’ll be married and on your honeymoon drinking a margarita and you never have to plan one again. So, stay patient and stay kind to yourself.
Cheers to you, future bride, we got this!