I’ve been traveling nearly every month since I graduated college over two years ago. Every. Month. It’s been crazy, y’all, but I’ve loved every moment of it. I love having a fast-paced life, always adventuring to new cities and people where I feel like I am making an impact. I would never trade those months of travel for anything else in the world.
But now I am in a new season of life where I think I may be slowing down. Staying in one place. Lingering and letting the mundane sink in in a city I’m not completely comfortable in yet. So I’ve been tempted…to run, to travel, to distract, with anything in order to not feel the emptiness that’s been swallowing me at times. Trying to fill a void horizontally that can only be filled vertically. I’ve been living with a destination mentality, falling under the trap of believing that if I only could get this next thing, then I’ll feel better and happier. Then I’ll be okay.
I’m learning that no circumstance is perfect, though. There is always going to be something missing from our lives that we want to be different. This world we currently live in isn’t paradise, and I’m learning to accept that. Every season of life will be filled with imperfect circumstances, and in her book, Come Matter Here, Hannah Brencher speaks so much truth to this,
God wants us all to stop running and start living, even in the imperfect circumstances. Imperfect circumstances don’t mean your life stops. Sometimes imperfect circumstances cause your life to truly begin.
So how do I become content in imperfect circumstances? How do I become okay with realizing that I’m never going to have it “all”? How do we get our lives to truly begin even as everything isn’t just how we want it to be?
This week, I’ve run back to my knees in prayer. I’ve spent more time with The Lord than I have in a long, long time. And you know what’s been crazy? I’ve actually felt different. I know y’all reading this might be like, ok, Mere, have a little faith, of course God is going to move and help you…but I had doubts. I hadn’t experienced inner peace and assurance from Him in a long time about anything. I’ve been feeling lost for a while.
But, as I pray, I feel Him reshape my heart, my longings, and my perspectives. I feel my heart’s posture change to be more centered on him than my day-to-day happenings. I experience more awareness of gratitude more quickly. I see Him more in sunsets and hugs from friends and flowers from Trader Joes.
The power of prayer is so real y’all. Truly. It’s not even like things have necessarily changed or been different for me this week, but rather, I’m different. My perspective is different because it is being shaped from a higher perspective. My gratitude and patience is bigger. My resiliency is stronger. I’m braver. And I believe this is because I am making a conscious decision to pray about everything and trust God.
It’s like when I wake up in the morning before I put my glasses on. What I’m trying to see is always there, but it’s not until after I put my glasses on that I see it clearly for what it is. That’s what prayer has clarified for me. That God has always been moving in these areas of my life, but it’s not until I have prayed about them that I’ve been able to see His presence within and through it all.
Leaving isn’t the key; changing is.
God truly is able to do abundantly more than all we ask or think. If you find yourself in an imperfect circumstance today, or tomorrow, or the next day, too, I encourage you, before you being to seek and search for the next thing to fill your void, bend down on your knees, and ask God for what you need. Because I can promise you, his peace is better than any earthly provision.